what was left behind
by crizyrobot
Summary: A promise is a promise..rght?...better summary inside
1. Chapter 2

Authors note: this one is iffy for me ...what do you think?...

Chapter 2

Sam looked down at the dirty 20 laying inches from his hand. He just stared at it that was his life Andy had taken it all from him Andy was the reason for all the pain Sam suffered, all the nightmares that plagued his dreams..The reason Sam hated this place. For a minute Sam let the overwhelming sadness take him down the very dark rabbit hole that he had refused for so long..Sam let the tears of shame and heartbreak slide down his cheeks, he clutched the butterfly at his chest tight...bringing to him the only thought that made any of it better again ... Dean...and that would never change.

The train was packed as Sam had expected it to be. And after tugging his unnaturally heavy bag through the throng of rush hour all Sam had wanted to do was find a quiet childless corner and be invisible the rest of the ride .

So of course Sam picked a middle car the attachment to the other car that was empty and as quiet as he was goanna get. Sam hoisted his bag onto the metal ledge then himself up next to it. Plugging an ear bud into his ear and jamming on black Dahlia Murder's; Paint it Black the hard screaming cashing away any stray thought of what had happened earlier that morning. That was how Sam liked it too loud to think and too uncomfortable to sleep there was no way this ride was going south this time.

Sam huddled as close as he could to the cold steel wall so that he could see out the window with little discomfort. Sighing he let himself get lost in the blur of scenery...

It all seemed so fast...He compared the blur of trees and houses to his life only a few days ago did he find out that there had been a new custody hearing. Only a few days ago did he learn he was escaping the horrible prison he would never call home ...only recently had he allowed himself the joy of happiness he didn't feel he deserved but embraced anyway, the happiness of home and a longing for it for so long. Any other day thinking like this would have just spelled out disaster for Sam but the thoughts in his head this time were good and made him feel happier than he had ever felt being in that dark cold loft...Dean, Sam clutched the amulet at his chest ...the one name hit him and he was happy. Sam smiled to himself...

"I said do you have your ticket sir!"

Sam sat upright like a stiff board gasping in a breath trying to still his racing heart...`_damn`..._Sam looked up to see a scruffy face of the ticket taker...

"I-I'm sorry"

Sam stammered all lose thought sent scampering into the back of his mind in fear . The conductor looked down his long nose with a glare. Sam thoroughly frazzled, started to rummage through the bag at his side. He took a spare glance to look up at the ticket taker, the man was tapping his foot and glancing at his watch...He was a perfect example of an impatient man. Fumbling with the zipper pocket he pulled up a few gum wrappers before producing a ticket, Sam let out a breath of relief. Handing the ticket to the conductor, Sam relaxed a little

"Im real sorry sir I didnt mean..."

"here!"

The cunductor stated gruffly cutting Sam off .Sam looked down at the ticket stub that was so rudley stuffed into his face.

"Thank you" Sam said as he grabed the half stub.

"ungrateful bastard"the conductor mumbled as he walked away .

It wasint meant to be heard but Sam had heard, Sam felt that pang of hurt like a knife wound. What did that guy know about him that he felt he had the right to judge him for_.`they know Sammy, they will all know_`...Sam hung his head stareing at the stub in his hand...suddenly filled with dread_..`theyll know then they will hate you,_how could he think that a brother who hadint seen him in years ,or even called,care could he have been so excited about meeting a family that was sure to have forgoten about staired down at the amulet that had kept reminding him of that damn promise. All Sam knew was that the excitement had turned to fear in an instant , how could he still hold a love for somone who really had never existed in his life...home...just didnt sound the same as a moment ago..and Dean,well frankly he didnt want to go there.

"Ogden dunes " crackeld over the loud speaker as the train came to a slow but sure now unable to calm his nerves was practicaly glued to the the exit door praying it wasint the same conductor to open the doors that took his luck, it was. Sam shuffled his feet adjusting his abnormaly heavy suitcase/backpack that was ...well seriously heavy.

The sun had just begun to go down over the tree tops...that was the first thing he saw...the second was a 96`mustang,bright red,with a plate on the front that read DW...the third was the man leaning on that mustangs hood . The man was looking at Sam almost sizing him up. "sup?" came a drawl that rang familiar . Sam grasped the strap on his bag tight ..."Dean?"...Excitment rose inside Sam like a balloon

The man`s brows drew together and he gave a chuckle.."Nope" Sams heart sank feeling a bit foolish..The man lent up off the red Mustang "But hat makes you Sam right?"

...

AN: tell me what you think good or bad...more chapters to come, hopefully longer ones too.


	2. Chapter 3

Authors note: sorry this one took a while... writters block sucks by the way...thanks for the reviews it means alot^^ you know who you are

Disclaimer: Everyone knows, I dont own eminem..or any of his music for that matter

Chapter 3

Sam looked at the man and frowned..."excuse me?"

The man blew out a breath full of smoke,that Sam recognized as a chuckle "Really not that hard to understand, man are you Sam or do I have to wait here another hour?"

Startled Sam nodded "my name is Sam...I just dont know how-"

"I know" the man rudley finished , he took a long drag and flicked the cigarette down on the ground giving it a squish with the sole of his shoe. " Long story short I`m a friend of your brothers I was sent to pick you up". The man then took two long strides and he was standing infront of the much shorter Sam extending his hand." the names Robert" Sam felt more small and uncomfortable then he had ever felt under Andy`s dark shadow, but Sam put on a smile and took the muscular man named Roberts firm handshake...Robert gave Sam a look.."aint` you a little petite to be a winchester?"

Sam glanced up at Robert yep he knew exactly how this was going to shrugged his shoulders "guess you havent grown into your gene pool yet."

_"Cadillac Sevilles ,Coupe Devilles brain dead rims yeah stupid wheels girl I`m too for real lose your tooth and nails try to fight it, try to deny it stupid you will feel what I do ,I do at will_"

the sterio was straining from the hard beat. Sam liked it , the sound the bright red mustang made when fired up

_"Shootin` from the hip, yeah boy shoot to kill_

"sooo" Sam stole a side glance at Robert ,as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway "How exactly did anyone know to pick me up..Mar...I mean mom...Told you guys she was droping me off right?" Sam suddenly in a conversive mood didnt catch Roberts side glance of annoyance,"It was more a spur of the moment deal"and Sams nervous mouth had caught the newist desiease of `wont shut up`.Robert shifted in his seat and griped the wheel a bit tighter.

_"Half a breath left on my death bed screamin` F that yeah super ill,baby what the deal we can chill, split a half a pill then a happy meal fuck a steak slut I cut my toes off and step on the receipt fore I foot the bill"_

Sam fiddled with the necklace sitting on his chest as a tense silence fell between them,and Sam had stopped wondering if Robert was going to answer him at caught on that he had been imposing on Robert by having to be picked up...`_Just like Andy said`_...Sam looked out the window the blur of blacktop more intresting then the bile rising in his throat at the moment.

_"listen Garden tool dont make me introduce you to my power tool you know the fucking drill how you duce bags feel knowin your disposable summers eve masingale"_

Robert sighed seeming to sorta relax into the upolstery,"Your mom called Annabell, told her that you guys had an argument so she made you take the train," Robert glanced Sam`s way taking in the boys constant fiddiling with the necklace he wore,"Annabell sent James to pick you up but he was buisy with the shop ,like always" Sam frowned,what had he expected? Mary probably said some awful things about him to Annabell...Sam stoped that train of thought for another more conserning one ,who was Annabell?...but that he was able to think abou t later...the name that made his heart skip was James...The brother Sam had tried to impress sence he was little..The brother he had never really lent on like Dean,but had aimed to be like him instead.

"she also tried Dean but He had shut off his phone..."

Sam felt the pang that stoped everything in his mind from turning_...`dean_` and along with the darkness and the pain he rarely let show was the one word that made any of this worth living, _Dean._

Sam looked at the man slouching in his seat one hand on the wheel and eyes on the first glance he looked like a more sturdy man version of Mary; blond hair ,hazle eyes and averted his eyes back out the carside window..."So you were the only option left?" Robert shifted "Yup".Sam glaired out the window _'not one person in your family was excited enough that you were coming home to come pick you up themselves' _.He shook his head it was selfish to think that way,but what was he if not selfish. If wanting a safe home and his family back was selfish then he was guilty...if wanting to not be so alone anymore made him a horrible person,then he was. If wanting one lousy phone call from a brother that promise was broken so long ago, made him physicaly ill to think about, then he was sick...Sam felt a sting of tears and swallowed hard ...happy just wasint a life choice for Sam.

A backroad with a cover of bright green trees,perfect was the deffinition of the was use to the tall buildings and endless evening traffic,annoying hobos,and crazy taxi` was a serenity in the way the trees created a tunnel over the road , so much more exciting then the tense atmosphere of city life. The radio had long sence been turned down till very little sound was emitting from it.

The street was called Riverside Drive and Sam understood why immediatly..the lake was beautiful. Sam had seen this lake before but in a more urban veiw, this was like having a whole new perspective, on everything and Sam smiled a little..

"Like the veiw?" Robert laughed"trust me it gets boring after a while".Sam frowned _'nothing could ever be like it was back in chicago'_ Sam shifted"It`s beautiful out here". Robert rolled his shoulders,and tilted his head, reminding Sam of Dean once again. "yeah" was all he said, Sam let the converstation drop there instead of going on with somthing he was sure to humiliate himself with. Sinking in his seat Sam watched the pastel colored houses go past one after another, they all looked so cheerfull and Sam was just a pessimist.

"oh good Anna`s here" Robert pulled a tight corner and up into a slanted drive."So the ride was great and all" Sam`s heart skipped ..he wished he hadint said it that way.."But I gotta head into town some things of my own I need to get achomplished today_"...'and picking me up kept you from them'.._ "Sorry,for impossing-"

but Robert was already handing him his bag and closing his door..Backing out and leaving Sam litteraly at the front porch,his mouth wide open and eyes glairing at the dust left from the mustang. "on your day" Sam whispered to no one .

"Sweetheart is that you" Sam almost jumped out of his skin as a sweet southern drawl reached his ears startling him. "S-sorry?" Sam said as he turned to see a laddy in a short white dress, hair hung down over her shoulders and her feet were bare. "Oh I didnt mean to scare you sweetie, you just startled me I wasint expectin`to look out the kitchen window and see a live statue on my lawn" .The woman smiled warmly at him. "You must be Sam" she extended her hand .Without a second thought Sam took it in his"You must be Mrs. Annabell". The woman laughed "Honey no ones ever called me Mrs. please its Anna for you babe" ...A shockwave went through Sam and he jerked his hand away from Anna`s _...`always a pleasure babe`_ Sam looked at his hand like it had been burned, while the sickly sweet southern woman continued to talk_...`cant even live your life without thinking about him, how are you ever going to get away from him_`

"Sam?"..the boy looked up at Anna "what..sorry"

"Well thats quite alright but like I was sayin we-"

"Annie! were are those damn pliers at? the sinks imploded again alover the new hardwood!" a males voice deep and familiar shouted from the steps by the front door wich was painted red ironically.

"I keep tellin you this house needs a good old fashioned plumer, and you aint one of em."Annabell stated turning to look at the man on the steps.

Sam took the moment to look away from the hand he had akwardly been staring at trying to calm the open eneded nerves stirred up in his system. and who he saw almost made him stop breathing.  
>...<p>

AN:promise next one will be a revelation just wanted to let it simmer a bit..which one will it be Dean or JD? :-)...thats for me to know and you to find out.

Reveiws^^?..what if I ask nicely


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